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If you choose a service in church, then read on...
We'd like to be married in one of the Benefice churches - what do we do now?
If one or both of you lives in one of our parishes and neither of you is divorced with a former spouse still living, then the matter is very straightforward. The first step is to contact us to see if your chosen time and date is free. We will send out the paperwork for you to complete and return. Once the form and deposit has been received you will be sent a letter confirming the time, date and place.
Our situation is a more complicated - what should we do?
If you don't live in the parish or one or both of you are divorced, then we will need to discuss your circumstances in more detail. We promise to give you a decision as soon as possible - we know how difficult it is to book receptions! Click here for contact details.
Marriage is a great gift of God to human kind. All the evidence shows that married people live longer and healthier lives. It’s also, we believe, the best environment for bringing up children.
Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.
Psalm 100:1-2
Or if your parents:
- lived in the parish during your lifetime for at least 6 months
- Worshipped habitually (in the C of E Church) for at least 6 months
- Were married in one of the churches
Or if your grandparents:
- Were married in the church.
If you believe you have a qualifying connection, contact the Benefice Office to be put in touch with the appropriate staff member. You may have to provide documentary proof of the connection, if it is not immediately obvious, particularly if it is some time in the past.
We should point out that the new rules strongly emphasise that you will be required to visit us for wedding preparation and an individual interview no matter how far away you live. If you live a very long way from Loddon Reach parishes this could be difficult.
Following the changes in the law which make have made it much easier to get married in a church where you or your family have a connection, the Church Of England has launched a new web site - www.yourchurchwedding.org/planner/ - to help plan weddings. It is well worth a look - lots of useful links and ideas and a clear explanation of the new rules. The service planner, however, does not really show you all the choices and alternatives that are available to you. We would expect to do that with each couple at that detailed planning stage.
I don't live in the Parish and have no connections with it - I just like the church. Can I be married there?
The plain answer to this is probably no. It is much more difficult to make the legal arrangements required. It is also the case that we have as many requests for marriage as we can manage from those who do qualify in one way or another.
One (or both) of us has been divorced. Can we still be married in church?
The answer is maybe. It is at the discretion of the minister. Jesus taught that marriage is indissoluble, but he also taught about forgiveness. Some clergy feel that in all good conscience they cannot remarry divorcees if a former partner is still living and practice varies from parish to parish.
We have considered the matter very carefully and in the parishes of the Loddon Reach Team if one or both of you has been divorced we will consider a request for marriage, provided that they fall within the Bishops guidelines:
• your new relationship was not the cause of the breakdown of (a) previous marriage(s).
• there has been a decent interval between the end of one marriage and the start of a new relationship.
• proper provision is being made for spouses and children from a former marriage.
Please note that considering a request does not mean that it will be agreed. If one of you has been divorced more than once we will need convincing that we should consider your request.
What happens next?
Some months before your wedding we will invite you to a marriage preparation day (usually a Saturday) when we will offer you a chance to consider the factors that make for a good strong marriage. We have had very positive feedback from those who have been on our course and we strongly encourage all couples to attend. We also arrange individual interviews with the clergy person who will take your wedding, so that we can go through the service with you, and explain the choices you have.
We are very keen that the service should be personal to each couple. We don’t like the idea of a ‘standard wedding’ for all. We have to use the official forms of service, but there are many places where you can make personal choices and involve family and friends in the service These go well beyond the obvious such as hymns and music in and out.
What does it cost?
The church costs fall into three sections:
The legal preliminaries, banns or licence. The 2008 costs vary between £19 and £135. Where you live and your nationality usually determines which one we recommend.
The basic service costs that do not vary between churches: £269 in 2008.
The other costs, for extras such as organist, choir, bells and administration, vary between the churches.
With all the extras, the total cost including the preliminaries and the service is about £700. This cost excludes flowers - some couples spend as much again on these - and you will also need to add in the cost of producing your order of service.
Can anyone get married in church?
Anyone who lives within the Parishes of the Loddon Reach Team, and who has not been married before is entitled to be married in their Parish Church. Whilst we naturally hope that those who come to us will at least be sympathetic towards Christianity, it is not a requirement that you should have been baptised or be a regular church member. As the national church it is one of our duties to offer marriage to those who qualify and we do our best for everyone who comes to us.
Also, if you do not live within the group of parishes, but are on the electoral roll of one of them, or if you have a qualifying connection, then you are entitled to be married there.
We don't live in the parish, but we have a past or present connection with it. Can we be married there?
In October 2008 a new set of rules came into force which enables those with a qualifying connection to marry in one of our churches.
The connections are if you:
- Were baptised in one of the churches
- Were confirmed in the parish (that means on the confirmation register of the church)
- Have lived in the parish at some time for at least 6 months
- Worshipped in the church(C of E) habitually for at least 6 months at any time in the past
What happens next? and other Frequently Asked Questions
Web Links (all open in a new window)
www.weddingguideuk.com is a useful and very detailed site. It needs searching carefully but the section on weddings in the Church of England is good and factually pretty accurate, as is the hymn choice section. The link here will open a new window directly into their section on weddings in the Church of England. This includes the text of the Common Worship wedding service. Click here for their section on selecting hymns for your service.
Much of the guidelines above are based on information taken from the Church of England's website. Click here to visit their site for more information about getting married in the Church of England.
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Any other questions?
If you have further questions, please ring the Benefice Office to be put in touch with the appropriate staff member.
